Talking with people is not the first step
Networking and meeting new people is an essential part of a successful life. This newsletter is not just about introversion but how introverts can thrive. A big part of success are people. Employees, colleagues, supporting partners, customersโฆ
Even though a lot is already happening on the internet, you still need to talk to your customers and business partners.
You canโt be successful without people. Introverts need to learn how to network.
So, how do you start? How did I start? Here are the beginner steps to get comfortable with networking:
If talking with people is way out of your comfort zone, start with step 1.
If youโre already a bit comfortable at networking events, start with step 2.
Step 1: Get comfortable with being in a room full of talking people
Talking to people can be way out of your comfort zone, and thatโs okay. You donโt need to be the star of the party or a people person.
Letโs take small steps. Starting with getting comfortable just being there.
Test the water.
Go to an event that has enough people to be invisible in the crowd. You can be there unnoticed, just exploring the environment, the noises and smells. Or if itโs a small gathering at a bar, just check out the location by yourself without joining the group.
Itโs not about talking with people yet. Just get accustomed to the location, environment, and loud talking.
- Observe the decor and materials used for the furniture and walls
- Check out the location of the toilet and the wardrobe
- Observe the employees working there
This helps you to be more prepared.
As introverts, we can be overwhelmed by new locations. There are so many new things to observe, and then youโre busy processing this instead of talking with people.
This first step helps you get comfortable in a new environment, and the next step talking to people wonโt feel so far out of your comfort zone anymore.
Thanks to technology, you can also check out the location online on Google maps or their website. I still do that before every event so I know my way around and what to order.
Which brings me to my next stepโฆ
Step 2: Prepare, prepare, prepare
Introverts are good at preparing and planning because we overthink everything.
Take this advantage and use it!
As I mentioned before, I usually check out the location of the networking event online. That helps me prepare my clothes and makes me less nervous when I enter the room.
If you donโt have any networking experience, we start with preparing topics and introduction questions.
It sounds like a lame cheat sheet, but it helps you take the first steps before you get comfortable speaking freely.
Some things to think about and write down on your cheat sheet:
- What are appropriate introduction questions for this event?
- What do people at this event have in common?
- How do I want to make them feel?
- What is the goal of my conversations?
Here are some introduction questions I use:
- At an event relating to the university:
- What do/did you study?
- Whatโs your thesis about?
- What lectures are you taking this semester?
- At a big conference for women:
- Are you here for the first time?
- What speaker did you like the most today?
- Whatโs something you take away from today?
- Where did you hear about the event?
- Where are you from?
- What do you do for a living?
- At an event for young entrepreneurs:
- What business do you have?
- Are you going to other events like this?
- Ask anything about the topic they work in.
Do you see a strategy behind them? They are not yes-or-no questions. Your counterpart needs to think a bit about the answer, and usually, itโs longer and helps to find the next question you can ask.
Additionally to preparing topics, you should also feel comfortable in your clothes. You already know the location from the last step, so find something that fits the occasion and you.
Donโt try to look fancy and feel uncomfortable. People unconsciously feel your nervousness.
Stay tuned for my next mini-guide about networking with already-prepared questions and topics, which Iโll release in February. As a subscriber, youโll be the first one to hear about it.
Step 3: Embrace your listening skills
As long as I can think, I thought I needed to talk to be interesting and charismatic. Just being an extrovert.
But thereโs a skill extroverts are lacking which is as important (if not even more important) as talking: listening.
Did you ever have a conversation that only consisted of the other person talking? And when you said something, you felt like they didnโt listen at all.
This is where an awesome skill from introverts come in: listening.
People love to talk and they love when you listen. They want to feel understood.
And introverts are experts at it!
So instead of being nervous because you think you need to talk or have the best answer:
- nod interested
- make eye contact (or look at a point in between the eyes)
- listen
- ask questions based on what they said
And thatโs not hard to do. Is it?
Step 4: Embrace your observing skills
Another skill introverts are experts in is observing. If you struggle to find introduction points, observe the person first and find something interesting.
If you donโt know anyone and you donโt know who to talk to: find someone who has an interesting thing on their clothes or body.
Like a beautiful bag strap or earrings.
Iโm sure youโll find something interesting. And then make a compliment!
And usually, this will get you into an interesting conversation.
Step 5: Talk to someone who is also alone
Do you feel like your mind is blocked as soon as youโre in a group of more than 4 people? Especially with strangers?
My mind just goes blank.
I need to follow the conversation and process everything. No wonder the mind has no space left to think of words.
So start with one person at a time.
At every event, there are always people who came alone (like you did, and I usually do) and they are looking for new connections and are happy to talk with someone.
Start with an introduction question or an observation from steps before and youโre good to go.
Remember:
Every new person you meet can be your future best friend or partner for life!
So take the opportunity and meet new people!
If youโre not done thinking yetโฆ
Many introverted people tell me this is where they pause.
This short 0โฌ guide helps you move from overwhelm to alignment gently.
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