Not what I expected
[5-min read]
15 years ago, I was a shy kid scared to talk to my aunt or buy myself something to eat at lunch break. If you had told me what I’m gonna do and achieve, I would’ve called you delusional.
From 2021 to 2023, I was the president of a student NGO, leading 40+ members. This newsletter is not about bragging but showing you what’s possible as an introvert and the lessons I learned.
These 2 years were the biggest growth season in my life. I improved:
- my social skills: talking to new people, team building, convincing them to join…
- my leadership skills: being motivated, listening, discussing, sharing opinions…
- my organizational and time management skills: organizing career fairs, general assemblies, and all that next to my studies
- my presentation skills: leading general assemblies and workshops
I’m still an introvert (and that’s not gonna change), and I used my strengths to lead this organization with empathy and calmness. I didn’t become an extrovert, but I learned how to do presentations and talk with new people.
Leading a student NGO was a challenge, but I took the opportunity to grow and learn how to lead in a safe environment. This is what a university should be: a safe environment to fail, learn, and grow.
And here are the two biggest mindset shifts from my leadership position:
A strong why can motivate you anytime
I’m passionate about my organization and did many amazing things in those two years.
There were many challenges, failures, and uncomfortable situations, but without them, I wouldn’t have grown. And that’s what people are usually afraid of: challenges and getting out of their comfort zones.
And that’s where a strong why (or passion or obsession, whatever you want to call it) comes into play.
The task looks too big or challenging, so we lack motivation and procrastinate. I’ve been there, done that. Everyone has those moments of procrastination. Even the most productive person in the world.
Motivation shouldn’t come from external sources like chocolate, music, or friends. That’s an important part too, but you shouldn’t rely on things you can’t control.
What you CAN control is your intrinsic motivation. And that’s where knowing your why comes into play.
I know why I’m writing this and working on my online business. I have an intrinsic motivation to help other introverts succeed in life. It’s deeply rooted in my negative experiences and past limiting beliefs. I want to help others like my former self not to listen to society saying, “extroversion is the ideal”.
This reason has kept me motivated for years now, even though the business is slow. I have a reason to keep going, and I will do that until I die (which I’m planning not to do before I turn 100).
This intrinsic motivation is powerful and helps you overcome every obstacle. It’s the ultimate productivity tool, and that’s why it’s one of the first chapters in my course Time Management for Thoughtful Minds. There’s currently a limited free bonus for getting a personal clarity session helping you with your individual productivity problem without stress (or an awkward Zoom call).
I struggled with finding my why in general. Because 10-year goals and questions like “What do I want to do with my life?” sound too big. Your intrinsic reason why will change with you and isn’t an ultimate goal for the rest of your life.
- What do you want to improve/grow in the next years?
- What is something you want to achieve?
- What does success mean to you?
- Why?
Question your goals and values, and figure out what your unique why is!
And then: visualize or remind yourself daily.
You’ll see how your motivation will grow.
Coming back to me leading a student NGO: that’s how I motivated myself to give more. I wanted to see the organization succeed. I had a reason why.
We’re organizing internships abroad, and my reason why was to give as many people as possible a new cultural experience. Because I know how my whole world changed after I did a semester abroad. We’re expanding horizons.
5-min journaling today:
- What do you want to improve/grow in the next years?
- What is something you want to achieve?
- What does success mean to you?
- Why?
Introverts Are Better Leaders
At the end of my 2 years of leading and experiencing presidents before and after me, I realized that you don’t need to be extroverted to be a good leader.
Not to brag, but I was better than the president before me, and that’s a fact. Why:
- He just talked and talked
- He wasn’t motivated, so he didn’t motivate others
- He never got things done
At first sight, extroverts sound confident and successful, but if they don’t get things done, they will be exposed sooner or later.
My team could rely on me to do it when I said I’m doing it. And I expected that reliability from them, too.
Additionally, introverts have some quiet leadership skills you don’t see and aren’t well known, but are important to lead a motivated, reliable, and happy team.
- Introverts listen
- Introverts feel and understand you
- Introverts only talk when they have something important to say
- Introverts have deeper connections and understanding
- Introverts are calm
Those are the skills I used as a leader, and my team appreciated them a lot. I didn’t do that on purpose, but intuitively being myself.
And that’s why those introvert skills are so important; they are about being yourself and not faking confidence or coolness.
Conclusion
Working with people in a team can be hard, especially in an environment in which they are still learning and figuring themselves out.
My introverted skills helped me understand and listen. I let them figure it out on their own.
Having a possibility of volunteering like this helps to improve your social skills and grow outside of your comfort zone.
Accept the challenge, go out of your comfort zone, and do it!
“Every change is a challenge to become who we really are.”
— Marianne Williamson
The biggest lessons I learned weren’t about leading, networking, presenting, or organizing. I made a 180-degree mindset shift about introverts being able to lead, and I know now how to motivate myself and others intrinsically.
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