It sucks feeling miserable and stuck
Are you feeling like you’re stuck in a rut and not getting anywhere in life?
I’ve been there. It sucks. I was in a purpose crisis.
In 2017, I got stuck. I went to college for 3 years to get a job as a programmer, and after only a few months, I was miserable.
I felt useless because the project we worked on was unnecessary, and I also didn’t have much to do the whole week.
Sitting 40 hours a week in an office and doing nothing.
It’s hard not to feel miserable. I had what they call a quarter-life crisis.
And in the last few weeks, I felt the same frustration again. Being stuck in a full-time job and feeling like I don’t make any progress. I remembered the lessons learned from back then, and I wanted to share them with you, too.
Here are the 3 steps I took and you can take to get yourself out of this frustrating situation to get back on the path to the life you want:
1) Question Everything
Knowing that I didn’t want to continue the life I had, I needed to find other paths and goals I wanted to achieve.
I’ve been reading a lot about self-improvement, setting goals, and self-discovery lately.
I went back to the happy days of my childhood and questioned the decisions I made that led me to my current situation and society.
- When did I start feeling miserable?
- What did I do as a child that made me happy?
- What did I do only to follow the rules of society?
- Why did I make those decisions?
- What frustrates me, and how can I eliminate it from my life?
- What are the good things/people in my life?
- What am I fascinated by?
Think about them.
Start answering the questions. Let them sink in for a few days or months. Whatever comes to mind, questioning your life can help you clarify your goals.
There is no right or wrong answer. This is your life, and those are your thoughts.
Accept them and don’t compare them to other people’s highlight reels on social media.
Don’t think “you have to do” something because society or your parents tell you to!
Question those thoughts and find your own path to happiness.
If you need more input on this topic, check out my free masterclass “Find Your Inner Compass” with more in-depth exercises to find your purpose.
2) Set New Goals and Values
Answering the questions above can be a mess. Your mind will be confused by all those questions and new opinions.
- Start organizing
- Try to identify things you want to do, have, or achieve
These are your goals.
Then you should break those goals down into smaller subgoals.
For example:
I realized I wanted to become an architect. I googled what I needed to do first: study architecture. So my first subgoal was to check out the universities and to enroll in one.
If you want to have a big social media following, you need to set a subgoal for your first 100 followers.
If you want to build a business, you need to have subgoals for market research and creating an offer.
Why do we break down goals?
Because if our goals are too big, they may seem unrealistic, and our brains can’t comprehend them. And that’s when procrastination kicks in because we are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
Break it down into small goals you can achieve in a day. And then consistently work on those every day.
3) Create a Plan
Now that you know what you want, it’s time to figure out how you’re going to get there.
You don’t need to know every single step of the way to your goal. I know I didn’t.
All you need is enough of a plan to get started. To conquer your procrastination.
Let’s just do a little research on the internet to make a plan for the first steps. I’m 100% sure there is someone who already did it and wrote about it online.
Back then, I found a website about studying architecture. I read everything I needed to know, and then I did my own research:
- universities in Vienna
- when they have open days
- when the registration starts and what the requirements are
- classes I will take there
I asked people at study fairs and open days. There’s no shame in asking for help, and people are happy to help.
Start small and take consistent steps over time. You don’t have to do everything in one day. Take the time and stick to your plan.
If your pain in the present situation is bad enough, you will have the motivation to stick with the steps to your goal.
I love planning, but we have to keep in mind that life happens, too. And you have to give yourself some freedom to explore.
While I studied architecture, I also volunteered in a student organization, and it kept me from studying at a faster pace to some extent.
However, it also helped me develop the necessary skills much faster through practical experience. It helped me in the long run to get a better job after my master’s, and I do a better job now.
Consistently sticking to a goal can be exhausting or boring sometimes. I had my ups and downs, but I didn’t give up because I saw everything as an opportunity to grow.
Even though I failed a course, I knew I had the chance to improve and succeed the next time. And it was a huge success the second time.
Celebrate the small bits of progress along the way!
Not the goal is your life, but the path to get there. You have to find happiness along the way.
I celebrated every semester I finished and every project I could add to my portfolio.
Conclusion
Back then, I didn’t have a step-by-step plan to follow to get out of my crisis. But I knew what I didn’t want, and I figured out what I did want.
I knew the first steps I had to take, and I just started, trusting that the rest would come with time.
For sure, people thought I was stupid and weird.
However, I no longer cared about it because being unproductive every day and then crying after work was not worth it.
I took the risk to change my life because I no longer wanted to feel miserable.
It took some courage to change my profession, but eventually, everything was better than staying where I was.
Sometimes I wonder if it was worth changing. I could be a well-paid IT project manager by now, but then I would’ve had a lot of struggles too, and I’m not sure if I would be happy.
Now, at this moment, I’m happy despite all the ups and downs that happened.
If you’re not done thinking yet…
Many introverted people tell me this is where they pause.
This short 0€ guide helps you move from overwhelm to alignment gently.
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