In the 1960s, psychologist Martin Seligman experimented with dogs that revealed something fascinating.

The dogs were placed in boxes and get a series of small electric shocks. Some dogs could stop the shocks by pressing a button, while others had no control over them.

Later, all the dogs were placed in a box where they could easily escape the shocks by jumping over a small barrier.

The dogs that had previously been in control of the outcome by pressing a button quickly escaped. But the dogs that had no control over the shocks didn’t even try.

They could have escaped, but they sat still and accepted the shocks, even though freedom was right in front of them.

Leaving aside the questionable ethics of the experiment, this is an interesting finding and something I want to talk about today.

Helplessness = Normal

I learned helplessness by getting a grade less because I was quiet, even though I got straight As on all exams.

This is just one situation of my 12 years of education that stuck with me, but I’m sure you and I had them every day in some form at school.

As children, we were put in a box, and we were helpless. Someone had to feed us and teach us.

Growing up, we get some kind of responsibility by moving out, going to college, or at a job, but 90% of humans never get out of this box with walls created by society, which sounds like this:

• “The best thing is to have a steady job. Nobody wants to give that up.”
• “It’s the government’s fault that the taxes are so high, and hence I don’t make enough money.”
• “That’s just how it is.”
• “I’m just 1 in a million. I can’t make a change in the world.”
• “Rich people are evil. They don’t pay taxes, get into prison, or let you do the dirty work.”
• “Be nice.”
• “Don’t question authority.”
• “You don’t have a choice. You have to…”
• “Life is hard. Be good at school, find a job, and you’ll be fine.”

Do you recognize any of those beliefs?

You learn not to have control over where to go in life. School, behavior, job, marriage, retirement, THE END.

Did you know this construct of society and life path is actually really new and started with the Industrial Revolution in the 19th century? Before that, everyone had their own “business” or farm to provide for the family. That’s it.

Now we learn to comply with the rules of society and schools to be the best workers for a company. But it’s not a path to happiness or fulfillment.

We don’t value life, love, or family anymore. We want more money and status instead.

You’re here reading this newsletter to break out of this endless cycle and because you value life more than money, right?

But we’re stuck in victim mode, which we need to escape first.

We complain about the job, the boss, the government, the ads, the food, or your partner so that we have something interesting to talk about.

We learn that we don’t have control over the outcome, so we get trained to be stuck in victim mode.

The Box of “Normal” Life

We think we don’t have any options to change our lives, and then we blame everyone else for being unhappy.

And the biggest problem: we think it’s normal because everyone around us is doing the same thing.

Society thinks normal is:

• working full-time to make money for a company we don’t like
• we don’t like our boss
• what we earn is never enough
• spending the money on things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like
• no time for seeing our children growing up
• 3-5 weeks of vacation time a year, we’re really looking forward to
• complaining about everything (even the vacation)
• working with people we don’t like
• commuting to work to then sitting in a cubicle until time runs out
• blaming the government for not earning enough

Those “normal” beliefs are actually limiting you to keep you in the box society wants you in. And most of us don’t even see it because we never thought about being limited.

You need to have the idea to zoom out and change the perspective on life. And you’ll see that you can get out of the box easily.

But you’re not escaping because people tell you your boring, exhausting, and mediocre life is normal.

99% of people are in this box, so I guess it is normal.

This low consciousness or ideology that 99% are trapped in will get you addicted to TV or social media, overweight, broke, purposeless, and bitter. The grumpy old people you complain about: they lived the same boring, mediocre life, and now it’s too late to change (by the way, it’s never too late), and so they became bitter.

Escaping it is hard at the beginning because you question everything you believe in the last 20+ years.

But it’s possible, and it just needs a bit of awareness and belief that you can change things.

A Bigger Perspective is Possible

The internet is seen as this monster getting you addicted to social media scrolling, watching YouTube, and reading Reddit and the news.

But it’s the biggest opportunity to change your perspective. You can talk with people from all around the world, different cultures and ways of living.

You can listen to wealthy people talking about their successes.

The internet is the best thing that happened to me. I started reading about personal development as a teenager and it opened a path to massive growth and perspective shifts.

I wouldn’t even think about business or online presence without role models and them being positive examples. I didn’t know any business owner or successful, wealthy women.

My mom is a great example of a loving and devoting mother, and she’s my role model in this aspect, but working as an accountant is not my take on being successful.

And my definition of success changed with the years of reading and listening to successful people online.

There’s so much information on the internet you just need to use it to expand your horizon and see what’s outside the box.

The algorithms don’t make it easy to get outside of the bubble of your beliefs, because it shows you what you want to see.

For example, go on Medium or Reddit and read about a completely different topic than usual.

Then you’re already one step out of the “normal life”.

My current struggle

I’m currently struggling with wanting more success and working on my online business, but still being stuck in a 9-5 job. I looked too much out of the box (there’s no too much) and now I want more freedom and success.

The in-between is the hardest part because I already want out but I can’t because I’m not a point yet where I make enough money with my business.

What I do is: I take small risks like investing in myself, putting in time and money in my business and work on the exit plan.

It might take a while and that’s painful because I’m impatient. But I know it’s gonna be worth it, my vision is strong and that’s why I’m not giving up.

Your Power Action Step Today

Journaling prompts:

• What’s one belief that keeps me in the box? Is it really true?
• List 1 person online who inspires you. What belief of theirs challenges your current box?”

In my free masterclass, I’ll go with you through the first step: finding your inner compass and stop waiting for others to open the box. You already hold the key!