Don’t let social expectations dictate your happiness
Society is based on extroverted values.
- the world is loud
- the loudest person gets the most attention
- the goal is to have a lot of friends and acquaintances
- small talk and be friendly with everyone you meet
- participate in group discussions
It’s not easy to feel accepted as an introvert in this world.
People look at you weirdly when you don’t want to party the whole weekend.
They label you as socially awkward if you don’t have many friends.
In school, I got a lower grade because I didn’t participate in class by asking questions (and just being loud).
So what can we do to feel accepted and comfortable in this loud world?
Here are the strategies I use:
Celebrate your unique strengths
Being an introvert is not negative.
I know this sounds weird after feeling awkward and uncomfortable your whole life.
Just like extroverts, we have strengths too. (And I think they are better than extroverted ones 😉
Every person is unique, but here are some general strengths of introverts: Let’s see if you find yourself in them:
- good listener
- organized
- reliable
- not superficial
- respectful
- calm
- understanding
- empathic
Add your unique strengths to this list. Write them down and hang them somewhere for you to remember them every day.
You are awesome!
Your strengths are as important to a functional society as extroverted ones.
Instead of trying to fit in by being loud, let’s try to tap into your awesome pool of strengths.
Have a deep conversation with someone, listen, and the other person will thank you for it.
In this loud world, it’s a nice change to get listened to instead of getting some half-hearted advice.
Setting boundaries for yourself
Life is about balance.
And just like extroverts need people and parties, introverts need alone time to fuel up their energy.
It’s not easy to say no to other people, and they make it really hard.
But you have to find a balance for yourself and your self-care.
You don’t have to party all weekend just because your extrovert friends do it.
An important lesson I learned:
It’s my life, and I can choose how to live it.
Just because society wants you to party in your 20s doesn’t mean you want to.
Even though I’m an introvert, I partied a lot during my bachelor’s. But I had to find a balance to get energy for my studies too.
Make time for your self-care, and don’t say yes because everyone else does it.
You are unique.
You don’t want to be like everyone else. Trust me.
You are allowed to say no and live your life differently.
Your authenticity is your power
Did you ever have the feeling that the loudest people are not really authentic? Like something is off?
Extroverts tend to be superficial and inauthentic, as they are loud and want attention. (of course not everyone, but a lot.)
If you are confident as an introvert, you can use the power to be authentically you.
You are quiet in big groups.
You are a good listener.
You are calm.
You don’t need/want attention.
Those are your strengths that other people appreciate.
At work, my bosses gave me the compliment of always calmly doing my work. Without being influenced by the screaming of our partners.
Of course, screaming at people still affects me, but not on the outside. I just continue my work and then complain at home 😉
Embrace your strengths and your authenticity, and people will love you for that.
You are not lying to impress people. You are not faking anything.
You can perceive other people’s feelings, and react to them.
As introverts, we have the ability to be empathic: we perceive feelings from other people faster. You can react and behave more empathic.
Conclusion
I know it’s not easy to be an introvert in this extroverted world.
I still feel awkward when I’m not talking in big groups or when I’m not joining a party.
But afterward, I always feel better because I have the energy to continue working, studying, and improving myself…
I’m balanced. I have my friends and the relationships I need.
I have my routines and my successes.
I’m proud of my introverted strengths.
I’m writing about introversion to tell the world: “Hey, we have so much to offer; listen to us!”
And I have proof:
- Without the introverted, driven Bill Gates, there wouldn’t be Microsoft and a big foundation for helping people around the world
- Without the introverted, empathic Oprah, there would be less equality in the US
- Without the introverted, ambitious Albert Einstein, there wouldn’t be a theory of relativity
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