Break Free From the Victim Mentality: How to Experience the Beauty Of Life

Discover the Power of Proactivity and Embrace Challenges

Your mindset is limiting you by thinking you are the victim of life.

You are not!

I‘m currently re-reading “The 7 Habits of highly effective people” and the first one is: “Be Proactive”

I’m guilty of not being proactive.

Throughout my teenage years, I thought all the bad things happened to me because I’m an introvert and got mobbed because of it. I had a victim mentality. I had a bad mindset. I didn’t trust people and thought the whole world was bad.

What I realize now is that this was all in my head. People have their own problems and are not here to focus on me, my flaws, and mobbing me because of them.

I saw myself as the center of the world. I hated attention but thought that everyone is analyzing and judging me the whole time.

I was stuck in the victim mentality. Really deep.

“The victim mindset will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you’re in hell.”

— Steve Maraboli

Change Your Mindset and You Change Your World

How did I get out of this negative mindset?

By improving and educating myself.

  • Reading a lot of books about personal development and psychology
  • Went to a therapist to help me get into the university I wanted
  • Changing my environment at college

It sounds so easy that you have to change yourself and your mindset. But it’s actually harder because it’s inside of you and it takes time.

One realization helped me see the world differently and being able to change my mindset:

Every person sees the world differently. The eyes absorb your environment and then it gets transferred to your brain. But there it gets interpreted based on your experiences and mindset. Every brain is interpreting the world differently.

This means what you see is only the interpretation of the world based on your experiences and mindset. By changing your thoughts and by having new experiences, you can change how you see the world.

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

— Norman Vincent Peale

Get Proactive

Proactive is a fancy word for going out of your comfort zone or actively working on changing the world.

There is a limit of things you can change but if you focus on yourself and the things you can then you can improve a lot.

  • Proactively change your mindset to be positive
  • Proactively stand up for yourself and unfairness
  • Proactively change your view of the world
  • Proactively accept challenges
  • Proactively go out of your comfort zone

A lot of people these days are reactive which is the opposite of proactive. Something happens to you: getting fired.
And you are reactive:

  • it’s the fault of the company
  • you go home depressed and don’t know what to do
  • You blame everyone but yourself for what is happening to you
  • You are picturing all the bad things that will happen now
  • You are worried about the future and if you will find a job soon

Being proactive in this situation instead of reactive is a simple change of mind:

  • You accept the situation
  • You are asking them for the reason
  • You appreciate the things you learned on the job which you can use now to find something new
  • You are thinking it’s an opportunity to change, to find something better or to reorient.
  • You are proactively starting to find something new immediately
  • Or you take the opportunity to free to start your own business

The world didn’t change in this situation. You are still fired. But you change to see it more positive and the world changes.

“Be proactive. Ask yourself, “Are my actions based on self-chosen values or on my moods, feelings and circumstances?”

— Stephen R. Covey

Opportunities Instead Of Problems

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”

— Albert Einstein

Life is solving problems. As soon as you fixed the problems with your colleagues at work, something else comes up in your family.

It doesn’t end. That’s a good thing! Why?

Because else life would be boring!

Would you play a game that doesn’t have obstacles or problems to solve? It would be a bad game and you would quit fast.

Life is a game. An interesting and long one.

It’s all about solving problems. You are growing with every obstacle you overcome.

The world can be full of problems. Or it can be full of opportunities.

Not the world has to change to get the opportunities. Your view of the world has to.

The exam at university is difficult. Do you see it as a problem and complain, or do you see it as an opportunity to learn and improve?

Some exams could feel useless. But I’ve never had one that didn’t teach me anything.

You can change your view of the world. Instead of problems, there are opportunities.

More Positivity

Our outside world can be negative and exhausting. Nothing positive is happening.

This is not the case! You are focusing on the negative. The media and the news focus on negative situations because it sells.

Decrease your time spent on negativity and focus on the positive instead.

I’m not watching any news because they are negative and would not help me live a happy life. I focus on the good things and on me being able to choose what I consume.

I don’t watch regular TV, I don’t see advertisements and I don’t need the latest iPhone. I don’t even have the urge to buy something new.

They are working to influence you to buy more by being unhappy with yourself and the world.

You choose the input to your brain. It influences your mindset.

If I would listen to friends who are complaining the whole day about their problems, then I would start complaining too.

Be aware of your environment and change it if you don’t like the negativity in it.


The world is not bad. You choose how to view it.

Is your view based on a victim mentality?

Change your mindset by changing your input and your actions.

  • See problems as opportunities to grow
  • Remove negative media and people from your environment
  • Go out of your comfort zone
  • Proactively try something new
  • Learn about new topics
  • Be aware of your thoughts

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(c) Karina Ahrer

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